Birthday Party = Disaster

My beautiful son (who is 7.5 years old and Autistic for anyone who doesn't know) went to a birthday party for a classmate this afternoon. He's been incredibly excited about it since the minute the invitation arrived. I was excited for him - eager to get him some peer socialization (something we struggle with right now) outside the confines of his classroom.

The party was at a local warehouse that contains huge rooms full of blow-up bounce-house type toys. The place was great - very clean, well-staffed and organized. When we arrived, his eyes started spinning like a cartoon characters' might. He has had a tendency in the past to get easily overwhelmed but we haven't seen him in such a state in months. It's probably something we should've predicted - the excitement and anticipation of what he was about to partake in, the colors (red, purple, yellow, blue and green walls), the noise (children screaming with joy, music) and the brightly-colored mosaic tile floors and carpets were making even the most typical kids explode with excitement.

We stayed for a little while and reminded him about things like visiting the bathroom when necessary, not crying when the party was over and it was time to go, adhering to the rules of the facility etc... He was semi-receptive but definitely eager to break free and get to the fun. After about 10 minutes of watching him jump around like a monkey and feeling comfortable that he was safe and enjoying himself, we decided to take our daughter (6.5 and not invited to said party) out to dinner.

The little party-goers spent 40 minutes in one room with 5-6 play "bounce" areas, 40 minutes in a second room with more fun bounce toys and then the final 40 minutes in a private room for the actual birthday party (pizza, cake, gift-opening etc.).

We returned about 10 minutes into the third (party) session to find our son sweaty, discombobulated, red and crying his eyes out. He was not terribly coherent and obviously overwhelmed. The busy bustle of the party was going on around him as he cried in a heap on the floor. I went to him to find out what was wrong and he said that his balloon had popped. Seconds later, an employee of the company approached him with a replacement. He stood up but contined to cry. When asked why, he replied that he wasn't done playing. I explained that that portion of the party was over (an hour and 20 minutes wasn't enough for him!) and gave him a few minutes to try and re-group. The irrational and uncontrollable tears continued to flow so we decided it was time to leave. He was upset about missing the cake and even said to me at one point that he "knew (he) ruined the party".

..Oh how my heart hurts for this child..

I assured him that he didn't "ruin" anything and that his friends understood. He did not resist our early departure - as much as he might've wanted to stay, I think he knew that he was out of control and could take no more.

We didn't talk about it much after we arrived home as I didn't want to dwell. Perhaps tomorrow we will discuss what happened.

He's almost 8 years old and it's so disheartening to see him doing things that other children did at ages 3, 4 and maybe 5. I've learned that there are lots of things I can help him with (academics, sensory issues, social stories etc.) but what can I do to help him mature?

A few things upset me about tonight. Firstly, it's hard to see him act like that in public. It's been a long time since he has been this out of control. While I'll never enjoy it, I've grown accustomed to the stares and the (mostly) sympathetic looks from other parents and have learned to not let them upset me. (Reminds me of a t-shirt I came across online once that read "My child is Autistic - what's your kids' excuse?" Hah!) More bothersome, was the fact that I think he really realized that his behavior was out-of-the-norm. Until now, he's always been seemingly unaware of his odd behaviors and differences - and it's been a bit of a blessing. He was not oblivious last night, though - he knew nobody else in the room was acting the way he was but he just couldn't control himself.

I hate that for him. I worry about his self esteem and wonder if it might not be time to start talking to him about his Autism - making sure that he understands that certain things he does are not his fault and that a neurological problem he has is to blame. As much as Autism is a part of our lives (in my head and in my heart every minute of every day), it's not something we have ever really discussed specifically or at length with him. How will we know when it's time? What do we say?