9 Years Ago Today (Thursday June 17, 1999)...

This is what I wrote in my journal...

Today is the big day!

I feel so "out-of-whack". I've never felt such an amazing mix of emotions - total excitement yet complete fear at the same time. I am not a big fan of hospitals (have never been admitted to one before and don't even usually like to visit them) but because I've been to Labor & Delivery a few times in the past few months for NST's, I feel a little more comfortable. Those visits have allowed me to become familiar with the layout of the floor, the rooms, the nurses etc.. I'm a little scared about what labor will be like - especially an induced one. I want to remember every minute of it and can't wait until I have a story to tell..

The only unfortunate thing casting a small shadow over this otherwise beautiful day is that I can't seem to get this nagging fear out of my mind that my body will somehow mess up this induction. I'm deathly afraid of being sent home with no baby. I'm trying to think positive, though. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, we'll have our son! I think I'm still having trouble believing that this is about to happen for us. I don't think I'll believe that I am actually - finally - a Mom until I'm holding our little boy in my arms!

I have a busy afternoon - lots of cleaning, straightening up and preparing to do. (My parents and sister will arrive on Saturday - probably the day before Chase and I come home from the hospital.) I'm also taping the U.S. Open golf tournament - it's on for 6 hours today. I plan on bringing the tape to the hospital with us so my husband has something to keep him occupied (relaxed!) during the first few (slow) hours of the labor tonight.

Wish us luck! If there are no complications, we should all be home Sunday sometime (Father's Day!) and I'll send out a quick e-mail announcement (to those who have asked that I do so) as soon as I can!